


Endings

by keirajo



Series: TF:MTMTE/LL-A.U. (divergence from canon) [4]
Category: The Transformers (IDW Generation One)
Genre: Action/Adventure, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Friendship/Love, M/M, Past Relationship(s)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-15
Updated: 2018-04-15
Packaged: 2019-04-23 09:49:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,529
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14329830
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/keirajo/pseuds/keirajo
Summary: A.U. divergence from "More Than Meets the Eye" issues #50-55 and "Lost Light" #1--so some dialogue is recognizable.  Megatron's angry and angsty over the battle with the DJD and what he did.........he loses sight of everything.  Even the one who loves him the most is beyond his senses right now.   Is Rodimus and Megatron's relationship strong enough to weather this storm?





	Endings

_**Endings** _

 

 

 

_The final battle started with a group hug……………and ended with a desperate plea._

 

**~**

 

            Ratchet rushed over to his old friend and reached up as high as he could to clap Roller on the shoulders.  The old Autobot doctor had not seen his old friend in _millions of years_ —what was Roller doing here on the Necrobot’s world?  Here and………… ** _now_**?

            Rodimus’ optics were drawn away from the screen, where Megatron was furiously tearing apart the Decepticon Justice Division members.  He had just seen Megatron rip Tarn’s Decepticon mask-like brand off and slap it on his own chest…………an ache filled his own chest—he suddenly knew Megatron had no intention of living through this fight.   When he finally looked over at Roller, he saw that the old friend of Optimus Prime’s was holding a surprisingly familiar briefcase…………

            “Er, Roller……….?” Rodimus began, pointing at the briefcase as he said it.  “Is _that_ what I think it is?”

            “I’m not sure _what_ it is…………..you’re _Rodimus_ , right?”  The old Cybertronian asked, tilting his head and looking down at Rodimus.  “Where are we….?  This isn’t _Cybertron_ ………….”

            “It’s a super-long story and there’s not a lot of time right now………..I think we’re still in danger of dying, unless………….?”  Rodimus began, he looked over at the huddled remainder of his own crew, and waved his hand desperately at Brainstorm.  “ ** _Fix it_** …………at least enough to jump me over there to get Megatron,” he said, desperation in his voice.

            “That’s………..I can _try_ to, but I don’t know how much interference there will be.  Megatron’s filled that bubble with antimatter………..you could probably melt into goo the moment you enter the bubble!”  Brainstorm began, taking his old time-travel briefcase and looking it over quickly.   “I know you want to save him, but………….I don’t think he wants to be saved right now,” the eccentric scientist whispered, just enough for Rodimus to hear him.

            “Screw that………….he wouldn’t let _me_ die, what makes you think I’m letting _him_ die?!”  Rodimus yelled, angrily.  “Just………..fix it enough to get me there to get him out…………” he said, trying to calm down and focus.

            “All right………..I make no promises that you won’t get blasted to bits, but I’ll do my best,” Brainstorm responded, quickly getting out his tools from a hidden compartment in his left forearm.

 

*      *      *     *     *

 

            Megatron, an emotionless expression on his faceplate, calmly reached over and grabbed Tarn by the throat.  He hauled him several feet off the ground as antimatter particles swirled all around them.  There was true fear and anguish on Tarn’s faceplate with the Decepticon symbol-style mask torn away from it, for the first time in hundreds of years.  He was scared as he looked down at his old teacher and the swirling antimatter around them.

            “Goodbye, **_Glitch_**.   I want you to die with one thought in your head:  everything you did was for **_nothing_** ,” Megatron said, calmly, coolly.  He squeezed Tarn’s—Glitch’s—throat as the antimatter snaked around the writhing body in his grip.

            “ ** _Megatron_**!”  Rodimus yelled as he instantly appeared just inside of the panic bubble.  “Leave him!  Take my hand!”  He cried, reaching out for his sparkmate, just as Megatron turned his head towards him.

            Just then, the antimatter swirling around Glitch’s body had finally invaded it and the Decepticon partly exploded and partly disintegrated in Megatron’s hand.  Megatron glanced at the dust and rust pooling by his feet and then looked at Rodimus with a painful expression.

            “Brainstorm’s pulling me back in five seconds!”  Rodimus yelled, waving his hand desperately in Megatron’s direction.  “ ** _Come on!_** ”  He cried, anxiously.

            Guilt.  Disappointment.  Self-loathing.  Rodimus recognized all those expressions as they crossed Megatron’s features.   And more than anything, _resolution_.  Megatron was **_committed_** to this ending.

            “Are you going to leave me behind, too, old man?  Then I’m going to stay, if you do…………” Rodimus said, steely determination on his face—if threats were the only thing that was going to work, then he’d _threaten_ Megatron.

            All of the sudden a look of horror on Megatron’s faceplate and he grabbed Rodimus’ hand quickly.   They both reappeared back in Censerre’s fortress.  Weakly, Megatron collapsed, but still held Rodimus’ hand.  And in Rodimus’ other hand, Brainstorm’s time-travel briefcase was starting to turn into a smouldering piece of slag.

            “It worked!”  Drift gasped, taking a few steps towards the two.  “ ** _It worked_**!   Are you alright?”  He asked, reflexively reaching for Rodimus, but stopping himself from going too far with his concern.

            “Urgh….” Rodimus groaned as he held up the smoking former fantastic device.  He shook his head lightly.  “Tell Brainstorm his briefcase makes for a crap teleporter……….” he trailed off as he saw Ratchet kneel next to Megatron.

            “Megatron, quick,” Ratchet said softly.  “It’s Ravage………he was **_holding on_** , but now that you’re back………..” he trailed off, his voice deep with concern.

            Megatron quickly got to his feet and went over to the table where they’d laid the surviving chest and head part of Ravage’s body.  Earlier in combat, Ravage had been ripped in half by Tarn…Megatron had Rodimus take Ravage back inside the fortress when he’d entered the battle himself.

            “I’m here, Ravage……..I’m here,” Megatron said softly, leaning over the table.  “It’s me.”

            Ravage lifted his head up and saw Megatron’s chest.  The robotic panther suddenly felt that seeing the Decepticon brand there again looked strange and wrong.  He lifted a paw and placed it over Tarn’s mask that Megatron had slapped onto his own chest.

            “Don’t…………change……………back……………..” Ravage whispered as the light faded from his optics.

            Megatron was about to say something more, when he realized Ravage would never hear it…the old Decepticon spy was dead.  More emotions pounded around inside of him.  He had been **_happy_** …….he had a chance at a **_normal_** life.  But the mutiny on the _Lost Light_ and being stranded here to be torn apart by the Decepticon Justice Division he had founded so many millions of years ago…………it left him feeling very torn apart and empty inside.  All it took was to be reminded of his past, to tear away everything he had started to cherish……………

            Megatron grabbed the edge of the table and hefted it up so hard the table slammed to the ceiling and shattered when it came back down to the ground.  Ravage’s lifeless body slid across the room and Velocity sadly picked him up.

            The whole room…………the _Lost Light_ crew that had been abandoned with him………..a bunch of new faces that had not been there before, though Megatron had seen a number of them before.  Long ago.   All of them, every single person had tensed up and fear permeated the room.  Rodimus took a step towards his sparkmate, but Ratchet beat him to the punch……….

            “C’mon,” the old Autobot doctor said, softly.  “You need to rest.  I can patch you up,” he added, gently laying his hand on the damaged fusion cannon on Megatron’s arm.  “Let me patch you up.”

            “Don’t touch me,” Megatron mumbled, no emotion in his voice at all.

            “Okay, but you don’t need the _cannon_ anymore…….” Ratchet began.  Megatron rounded on him, anger starting to rise inside of him…….he was angry at everything that had been taken from him in an instant. 

            “Leave it!”  Megatron snapped, backing a few inches away from the old Autobot doctor.

            “It’s not even……..” Ratchet began, stepping back a little.

            “ ** _Leave it_**!!”  Megatron roared.  He felt all destroyed inside, like there was nothing left for him in this world.  He raised the arm with the fusion cannon on it.  Even though it wasn’t working, the threat reminded too many in the room of the old Megatron and the death he brought when he raised that arm and deadly weapon, bringing it to bear on victims.   He couldn’t even discern individuals anymore, the whole moment was becoming a blur to him…….what was the point of trying to have a normal life anyways?   “I think it’s time I left,” he said to them all, turning away from them.

            Rodimus hung his head.  His beloved partner couldn’t even see him anymore…couldn’t even acknowledge that there was someone in existence who truly cared about him.

            “Megatron…….?” A voice called as someone came into the room.  The Cybertronian who entered the room had a design similar to Megatron’s old mining design.  “What’s going on?”  The stranger asked, taking a few steps towards Megatron.

            “Terminus….?” Megatron whispered, turning towards the one who was his mentor so very long ago.   As he stepped towards his oldest friend, he dropped the broken fusion cannon from his arm.  He barely even heard Terminus asking him about the explosion and asking if they were still in the mines on Messatine.  Megatron wrapped his arms around Terminus, whose posture showed shock.

            “Oof……what’s wrong?  What’s happened?”  The old Cybertronian murmured, looking at all the strangers over Megatron’s broad shoulders.

            “Nothing,” Megatron whispered, softly.  “Everything.”  His embrace tightened.  “I lost my way……”   During the hug, Tarn’s Decepticon symbol-mask dropped from his chest and he never noticed stepping on it.

            Terminus put a hand on Megatron’s back, surprised at how his young friend suddenly looked so much older than him.  He saw a Cybertronian with red and yellow coloring back away from the nearby group and wondered who it was and why he looked so very sparkbroken.

 

*      *     *     *     *

 

            Rodimus couldn’t bear it.  Megatron did the same thing Blaze did……….the same thing Drift did………..Megatron left him behind.  He pushed through the crowd, the only thought in his head now was to run and end it all.  Drift saw Rodimus turn away and start to move through the crowd of Cybertronians and started pushing his way through to go after the one he loved.  Suddenly a familiar arm blocked him and Whirl turned his single optic on the ex-Decepticon.

            “Don’t.  Not **_you_** ,” Whirl said, very quietly and very seriously.  “I could list a hundred reasons, but the fact that you have three very sharp swords on your person could tempt him to grab one and finish himself off.  **_I’ll_** go.  _You fix this.  Here.  Him_ ,” he added, pointing over at Megatron.  Without waiting for a response from Drift, Whirl headed out to follow Rodimus and make sure that his captain didn’t do anything dumb.

            Drift, determined to hurt Megatron, pushed through the crowd and over to where Megatron had stopped hugging his old friend and was asking him questions.   He was tempted to draw his blades and start slicing…but that would worry a lot of people in the room, some for reasons older than seeing simple violence.  Instead, he fell back on the most common of all weapons any person possibly had at hand…………

            Drift punched Megatron, which knocked the taller and bulkier old Cybertronian back a few steps.  Without waiting for a response, he swung his other fist back and took a harder swing that slammed Megatron to the ground.

            “Get up, _damn you_ ,” Drift snarled.  “ ** _Get up!_**    I’m not beating you senseless without a response from you!”   Drift yelled, motioning with his hands in a “bring it!” gesture.

            Megatron just looked up at Drift, puzzled.  He touched the side of his face, which actually hurt a little bit.

            “Drift………what’s wrong with you?  Calm down…………” Ratchet said, trying to keep calm himself and not get involved in the encounter.

            “I am _not_ calming down,” Drift says, danger in his voice.  “Get up and fight me, before I draw one of my swords and start _cutting_ you…………….and you should know more than anyone that once I start hurting things—I _never_ stop until everything around me is soaked in death,” Drift threatened, glaring down at Megatron angrily.

            Megatron stood up.  “Drift, what is this about?”  He asked, tensing up for defending himself.

            “ _What do you think? **Look around you!**_ ”  Drift snarled.  “Who’s _not_ in the room with us right now?!”  He yelled at the loudest his voice could go.

            “The _room_ …….?”  Megatron murmured, starting to look around.  There were so many new faces…people that were not here with the small part of the crew that got stranded here originally.   Where did they all come from?  The crew were almost all huddled together.  Everyone was there…..everyone was………….  “ _Rodimus,_ ” he whispered.  Whirl was missing as well.  But Rodimus wasn’t there at all.  “What……….have I done?” Megatron gasped, grasping his head, shocked and feeling a little bit saddened.  In the whole stressful situation, he did the one thing he should never have done…………….he ignored his sparkmate, the one person who was trying to help him the most.   Especially given it was one of the things Rodimus made clear…………..was that he didn’t want to be left behind again by someone he loved.

            “You had a freak-out…………it happens,” Ratchet said to Megatron, calmly, grabbing Drift’s arm, trying to pull his friend away from Megatron.

            Drift yanked his arm free and faced Megatron again.  “I don’t care what kind of breakdown he had…………….Rodimus may end his life because you chose to no longer see him!”  Drift snapped.  “Get up and we’ll settle this the good, old-fashioned way!”  He growled.

            “Drift……………” Ratchet murmured, grabbing Drift’s arm again, _this_ time to stop his friend from doing anything excessively drastic.  “Why didn’t you go after him?  Why are you picking a fight with Megatron instead?”   Ratchet countered.

            “Because _Whirl_ told me not to…………..Whirl went after him,” Drift snapped back, glancing briefly at the old Autobot doctor.

            “I need to go look for Rodimus and salvage this,” Megatron said, determination in his voice.

            “No……….you and I are going to settle things right now!”  Drift yelled.   “What the hell are you going to **_‘salvage’_**?  Salvage it enough just to stab his spark again when you have another freak-out?”

            “Says the one who hurt him just as badly,” Megatron muttered.

            “No…….you _don’t_ get to play that card with me,” Drift snapped, yanking his arm free from Ratchet’s grasp again.   “I **_know_** what I did and I regretted it the minute the words were out of my mouth.  I saw what I did to him and I am not asking to be forgiven for that.   But you……. ** _you_** promised him you would be the one who **_WASN’T_** going to do that to him……………….and then you ignored the fact that he saved you because he loved you and you turned around and ignored his very existence when you decided to do nothing but pity your own existence!”

            “You’re………right,” Megatron said, softly.  “I’ve settled down now, I’m calm.  Let me go find Rodimus and talk to him……” he added, placing his hands before him in a peaceful gesture.

            Drift drew a sword from his side……….not the greatsword from his back.  He pointed the tip directly up at Megatron’s chest.  “If you find him and he’s managed to take his own life, I will come after you next………..” Drift said, dangerously, then he stalked off by himself, sheathing the sword absently.

 

*     *     *     *      *

 

            Megatron used a scanner to look for Rodimus’s Spark.   He figured that the only two Sparks outside of the fortress right now would be Rodimus and Whirl—and if Drift was correct, then Whirl would be hovering around Rodimus.   After about 20 minutes of searching, he came upon a small meadow, full of sparkflowers.  They surrounded an inactive holographic statue’s pedestal…Megatron wondered whose pedestal it was and why Rodimus would come here.   Rodimus was on his knees, leaning into the pedestal, so that all you could see was his back…….Megatron had seen the posture before, anguish and grief.  Not just in many a Cybertronian, but the day he hauled Rodimus off to his own room to stop the younger Cybertronian from killing himself—after crying out in protest, Rodimus had went to a corner of the room and just buried himself in the corner like this.   Before he could walk down into the meadow, Whirl was suddenly there in front of him.

            “You need to stop for a minute.  Think about this,” Whirl said, softly.

            “It’s alright, I’ve calmed down,” Megatron replied, quietly.

            “That _isn’t_ what I mean,” the ex-Wrecker responded.  “It would be one thing if you two had a _fight_ …fights happen between partners.  But you erased him from existence…you didn’t even think about him—you thought _only of yourself_ in that moment,” Whirl said.  “Not even thinking about him when you were hurting, it only hurt him even more.  A partner… _a sparkmate_ …is there to help you and comfort you when you are hurting—that’s what he was trying to do.  That’s why he went to save you…and if Ratchet hadn’t butted in, he was about to go over to you to comfort you.”

            “I know that,” Megatron answered, sighing softly.

            “Do you?  I’m not so sure,” Whirl responded, shaking his head.   “This isn’t a game.  You can’t say any more pretty words to him to ease his suffering…you’ve wounded him beyond any comfort mere words can bring.   This may be _your_ first relationship…but it’s **_not_** his first one.  And he’s been hurt too many times, this may be the last time he wants to be hurt.”

            “Then what do you think I should do?  Extinguish his Spark myself?”  Megatron snapped back, keeping his voice quiet.   “I already hate myself for compromising my pacifism and slaughtering Glitch and the others.  They may have deserved it, but again…I did not want to have to be the one who did the task.”

            “I’m just warning you, he might ask to have the bond severed between you two…so that he can end things without you interfering,” Whirl responded with a shrug.  “I don’t think you should be surprised if he asks for that.”

            “I’ll be aware of that,” Megatron answered.  “Now…may I go down there and talk to him?”

            “You may as well, but I’ll hang about here for a bit…………..in case things get heated,” Whirl said, shrugging again.

            “Why are you so concerned?  _You_ don’t like people,” Megatron asked, curiously.

            “I like _some_ people…I just don’t tell them I like them,” Whirl chuckled softly.  “And Rodimus can be pretty awesome.  _Sometimes_.”

            Megatron walked down into the meadow and towards the empty pedestal, he sat down beside Rodimus and laid a hand on his partner’s arm.

            “Go away,” Rodimus mumbled, hurt.  “I don’t want you here… _go away!_ ”  He snapped a bit more forcefully when he could tell Megatron hadn’t gone away.

            “I won’t talk unless you want to talk to me, but I won’t leave either,” Megatron said, softly.  He removed his hand from Rodimus’ arm and then just sat there.   He leaned forwards for a few moments so he could look back at the nameplate on the pedestal, as he was sitting against.  It said _“Hot Rod of Nyon”_ on it.   So this was Rodimus’ pedestal?   Rodimus had said he had responsibility for many lives over the millennia…Megatron just never realized how many it really was.  When he’d seen his own pedestal on a mountain, surrounded for miles by these sparkflowers, it sobered him………but Rodimus had always taken responsibility for the lives he had fade on his watch, he was obviously not surprised at the small meadow full of sparkflowers that surrounded him.  He came here to grieve without hesitation.

            “Go away……….. ** _please_** ………….I can’t stand having you here right now………….” Rodimus said quietly, his voice sounding tight with painful emotions.

            “I came here to apologize, and I really mean my apology,” Megatron responded.  “I forgot everything…I think I wanted to forget everything.  Tearing apart Glitch and the others reminded me of the monster that I **_was_** —the _monster_ I was trying to escape from.  The monster I hoped I would **_never have to be_** , ever again.”   Then Megatron paused for a moment.  “And it frightened me.  That this monster I still was deep inside was still there and…………….what if I eventually destroyed everything I had come to love?  I couldn’t bear that thought and wanted to escape…seclude myself to stop from hurting anyone else.”   After saying that, Megatron reached for Rodimus’ nearest hand…tugging on it with slight difficulty…and holding it in both of his.   “I forgot that even by doing that—thinking I was saving others—I was destroying _the one person_ who meant everything to me.”

            Rodimus still wouldn’t look at him, his head buried down against the pedestal, his body huddled sadly into as small a form as he could make himself.

            “I am **_sorry_**.  I am so very sorry, more than you’ll ever know,” Megatron continued.  “I got scared and………..as Ratchet put it, I had a _‘freak-out’_.  I never meant to push you away or forget you, I was just very scared of who I am and…………….who I probably always will be.”

            Rodimus still would not look at him, nor say anything to him…but he did not try to pull his hand away.  Which Megatron took as a slightly positive sign.   Megatron didn’t say anything else and just turned around to look up at the sky, still holding Rodimus’ hand in one of his.  Maybe Whirl was right and this was one thing he couldn’t hope to fix.  Rodimus’ withdrawl from people reminded Megatron of how the younger Cybertronian had been right after his brain injury.

            “You know…………I thought **_Drift_** would come after me,” Rodimus whispered, so very softly that Megatron had been unsure he’d even heard his partner speak.

            “Whirl stopped him from chasing after you,” Megatron answered, turning his body slightly again so he could look at Rodimus.

            “Whirl……….?”  Rodimus murmured, peeking slightly at Megatron.

            “Mmmm,” Megatron chuckled, using the hand that wasn’t holding Rodimus’ to point at where the ex-Wrecker was standing at the top of the small hillside into the meadow.

            Rodimus followed the pointing finger and when he saw Whirl…………the Autobot had shrugged and then waved at Rodimus, noticing he was being looked at.  “ ** _OHMYGOD_** ,” Rodimus gasped, burying his head again.  “I am embarrassed beyond words if Whirl is the one who’s worrying about me…………” he whispered.  Then he relaxed his posture and turned slightly towards Megatron.  “I don’t want to be left behind………..how can I make you understand that?”  He asked.

            “I do understand.  And I am so very, _very_ sorry,” Megatron sighed, gazing back up at the sky.

            “I’m _tired_ ,” Rodimus complained, quietly.  “I’m so tired………….”

            “It was a hard fight,” Megatron sighed.  “Come…why don’t you put yourself into recharge cycle and I’ll keep an eye on you right now?  The antimatter recharged all of my systems and I think I will be awake for days at this point………..but you should get some rest and then we need to deal with all of these people that Censerre hoarded from time and space.”  Megatron tugged lightly on Rodimus’ hand several times before the younger Cybertronian crawled into his lap and then leaned his head against the ex-Decepticon’s shoulder.

            “How long should I set my recharge cycle for?”  Rodimus asks, his voice soft and tired.

            “Two hours…………I’m sure _someone_ will come looking for us by then,” Megatron answered.  “I left Ultra Magnus in charge while Velocity has been recruiting volunteers to help do medical checkups on the _‘newcomers’_.”  Megatron paused.  “You found a good crew, you know………….and they all have little quirks that make us all interesting enough to live together.”

            “Mmmmm,” Rodimus murmured.  He set his internal alarm for two hours and then went into sleep mode with his head against Megatron’s shoulder.

            Whirl thought the two might be okay, so he stretched exaggeratedly and then turned to walk back to the fortress.

 

*      *      *      *      *

 

            “Ah, so **_this_** is where you went,” Terminus chuckled.  “Mind if I sit?”  He asked, but sat down before Megatron could answer him.  “The doctor you were with said you went after your sparkmate…so I assume this is him?”

            “Yes, he’s called Rodimus…and he’s from Nyon,” Megatron replied.  “I’m afraid I was a pretty bad partner back there…………..”

            “You got scared.   It is hard to know what fear will do to anyone, you can’t predict that…no matter how much you study it,” Terminus sighed.   “But when you get sparkbroken as well…it’s hard to apologize for what you did to cause the break.”  Terminus looked over Rodimus’ still body.  “I hope this isn’t the worst………….like the one with the blades feared.”

            “It’s not over yet, but……..Rodimus has a recycling-charge system so he’s resting right now.  We probably still have more working out of the issue to discuss,” Megatron murmured.  He looked down at Rodimus head on his shoulder and hoped they could fix things.

            “If he’s alive, then it may yet be dealt with,” Terminus responded.   “So…it’s been over four million years?  I heard there was a terrible war and…they said you did terrible things.”

            “Yes.  _I did_.  And I don’t expect anyone to forgive me for it…despite the fact that there were circumstances that robbed some of my free will in matters.  And the gladiator pits merely fueled my anger and hatred at what the senate did to me and the ones I cared for…it made things much worse in the end,” Megatron explained.

            “It explains why you look so old and so tired, Megatron,” the old miner sighed.  “But that you could find someone to share your life with means………….you still have a good Spark.”   Then Terminus chuckled as he reached over and brushed Rodimus jawline.  “So he’s from Nyon……….racer, then?”  He asked, smiling at Megatron.

            “He tells me he hated racing, but was indeed a racer,” Megatron chuckled, warmly.   “Apparently races were always fixed, everyone was assigned places to win or lose…….supposedly to make seasons more exciting.  And to cut down on merchandise related to specific racers……..after all, they could mass produce stuff for winners and not even bother with people below third place.”

            “Sounds about right,” Terminus chuckled.  “Everyone was out to make a profit……..if the owners knew what racers would win every race, they could fix the odds, too.  And then payouts would be dirt-cheap.”   Then Terminus stretched.  “So what drew you to this one, he looks a lot younger than you…so I’m not sure what commonality you have, besides being on the same ship…….?”  He asked, curiously.

            “He got hurt.  I actually _really_ disliked him before……..the attitude he portrayed,” Megatron sighed.  “I think I could’ve punched him all the way back to Cybertron…he was so **_annoying_**.  But when he got hurt, all that ego and selfishness was stripped away—it turned out to be a mask.   And then he looked so lost and so very alone…………..and that was something I was familiar with.  And once I’d seen him so vulnerable, I wanted to protect him—and that I really can’t explain.   It just……..felt like something I should do.”   Megatron looked down at Rodimus, very fondly.  “And once I started trying to get closer to him, I found we really were compatible.   His youthfulness and energy make me want to be young again.”

            “That sounds very like you, Megatron,” Terminus chuckled.   “You never had much time to be a young mechanism, you were put in the mines as soon as you defrosted…………….I remember when they brought you into the mines for the first time—saying you were the first point-one-percenter that had been constructed cold.”

            Megatron looked at Terminus, puzzled, tilting his head…………..then he laughed.  “It’s been so very long and so much has happened,” he said, when Terminus gave him a confused look.  And then when Rodimus shifted in his lap, he realized his laughter had woken his younger partner up.   “I believe I have this young one and a few of the crew to thank for being a constructed cold point-one-percenter,” he added, patting Rodimus’ head, earning an annoyed frown.   “Rodimus, this is my old friend and mentor, Terminus,” Megatron introduced, as Rodimus stretched.

            “Rodimus,” the younger Cybertronian murmured, extending a friendly hand.

            “I heard you were a racer in Nyon,” Terminus said.  “And that the owners fixed races, which does not surprise me at all,” he added with a chuckle as he shook Rodimus’ hand in a friendly manner.  “Were you _only_ a racer, or did you do other events too?  Since Nyon was an entertainment city……..”

            “Racing sucked  tremendously,” Rodimus groaned.   “I wish I could have been allowed to win…at least once.   No, I was always told to stay below fourth………they’d never let me in the top three.  Said that a racer with flames is **_too obvious_** a pick to win.”   He folded his arms, crossly.  “But no, I never did anything else besides racing…….at least not until the war.   Then…………..my skills to target and shoot things were far more valuable than my speed on the roads.”

            “I admit, I think I am very glad to have missed the war,” Terminus responded.

            “Definitely should be,” Rodimus sighed, still sitting up straight and not relaxing back against Megatron.  “ _Hated it_.  Always hated it and hated being good at fighting.  I think my hate actually made me a better fighter…………..” he trailed off.  “Well…………I’m awake now and I should go find Drift and reassure him.”

            “For someone traditionally using swords, he actually has a very good punch,” Megatron chuckled, watching Rodimus get up.  “I hope you and I can talk some more later,” he added, reaching up for Rodimus’ hand.

            Rodimus let him brush his hand and then pulled it away quickly.  “We’ll see, _old man_ ,” he responded with a sigh as he walked off.

            After Rodimus had climbed the small hill, Megatron turned towards his old friend.  “If he can call me that pet name, then it means he’s fine…….and something can be salvaged between us,” he said, quietly.

 

*      *     *     *     *

 

            When Rodimus came back into the fortress, he had a few of the crew ask if he was alright.  He just nodded and reassured them with a few words.  He had a few of the Cybertronians that Censerre took, who were Autobots and knew him, greet him cheerfully.  He had a few of the Decepticons that obviously knew him just kinda glare at him then go back to talking with the others they were talking to.  It reminded Rodimus just how much the war really **_sucked_**.  Since when Ratchet and Drift arrived, things had been chaotic…………Rodimus hadn’t had much of a chance to talk with Drift yet.  A part of him was nervous at how meeting with him again would go, despite friendly letters between them……it was clear Drift’s feelings for him were still **_very_** strong, since Drift was going to look for him until Whirl stopped him from doing so.

            Rodimus couldn’t just say **_he’d_** abandoned his feelings for Drift either.  He _did_ still have strong feelings for Drift.   But now he had _Megatron_ …….they’d had a full-on bonding ceremony.  And Rodimus was _not_ the type to play games of romance and jealousy.   He was _with Megatron_ and that’s how it was…….despite the tense situation right now.  He had to remember that partners sometimes had arguments…………….though, granted, Megatron saying he was going to up and leave hurt him deeply.  He could understand that Megatron got scared…………..and maybe after so many millions of years of war, Megatron forgot what being scared was really like and it overwhelmed him.  That’s _probably_ what happened.  And Rodimus had to accept that and try to be a little more understanding to keep what he truly loved close to him.

            He finally found Drift, talking with a Cybertronian that he knew as a Decepticon called Wolfwire.  Though Wolfwire used to have a birthname that was different than what he used now.  He disappeared only about a million years ago, give or take a couple centuries.    From what Rodimus remembered, Wolfwire was an _old_ Decepticon…….from when the term was forged.  So that meant **_he_** , like Soundwave, believed in Megatron’s _old ways_ …………..before the war became about tyranny and bloodshed.  When the Decepticon Cause was an uprising against the senate……….and a fight for the freedom to be what you wanted to be, not what your alt mode forced you to be.   Rodimus just stopped where he was and leaned against the wall…he didn’t want to disturb Drift if he were busy.  And it was clear that maybe Drift had been friends with this Decepticon once……..or at least _friendly_ with him.

            Rodimus groaned softly to himself and put his hands over his face.   What a mess.  Getaway took off with the ship……………and **_was_** everybody else really in on the mutiny?  Just a handful of people were quite obviously **_not_** ….the ones abandoned here to die.  Rodimus sank down, back scraping against the wall.  He _trusted_ those people…………..he trusted _so many_ of them.  Perceptor……………..and Riptide……………..and……………he trusted _almost all_ of them.  Hunched down, Rodimus folded his arms over his knees and bent his head down into his arms.  If he hadn’t started this damn quest in the first place…………………………!

            “Rodimus……….?  What’s wrong?”  Drift’s voice said, cutting into his self-loathing.

            “It’s **_my_** fault, Drift……………Ravage and Skids are dead.  All those others.  Because I wanted to try and help Cybertron,” Rodimus whispered, not even raising his head to look at Drift.  “Getaway and the others abandoned us here to die at the hands of the DJD.  Megatron was ready to abandon us…………to abandon **_me_** …………….I just…………………..should have………………….” he trailed off, his voice soft and full of ache.

            “I wish I had been able to see you like this, without seeing you in pain,” Drift chuckled.  “So this is the _real_ you.  The one you hid from _everyone_ , even from me,” he said, lightly stroking Rodimus’ head.   “I thought I saw _this_ Rodimus back on Cybertron………….when I woke up in the medical ward………….but then I dismissed it as part of the high I was on from the syk.”

            “You’re _so stupid_ , Drift,” Rodimus groaned, grinding his head against his arms.

            “Yes, I realized that the day we argued,” Drift said, a gentle tone of warmth in his voice.  “But after being gone and parted from you, I decided to own up to my faults.  I wanted to become someone you **_couldn’t refuse_** , one day.   As always, I’m too late to do it.  But………….” Drift sighed as he trailed off.  “We _are_ friends now, aren’t we?  _Amica Endurae_?”  He asked.

            “ ** _Can_** we be?” Rodimus asked, raising his head to look at Drift.   “After all I’ve done………….?”  He whispered, sadly.

            “You know that many of those things you blame yourself for…………..many of them are not truly your fault.  You’re doing exactly what **_I_** had done for far too long.  And you always chided me over that, as well.  It’s time for you to realize that it’s not your fault and you don’t need to take on the weight of all those sins,” Drift said, quietly, helping Rodimus stand up.  “I learned _that_ the hard way.  **_Don’t_** walk down that path and take too long to realize the same.  It’s time to be yourself, Rodimus of Nyon.  Your wonderful and amazing and _imperfect_ self.”

            Rodimus looked over at Drift and smiled.  “You really **_have_** changed.  It’s nice to see that, Drift,” he said, fondly.  “Are you **_clean_**?”  He asked, gently laying a hand on the side of Drift’s faceplate so he could look into his friend’s optics.  “Have you been clean since you left?”  He asked, awe in his voice as he could tell there was no dim glow of circuit-speeder use in Drift’s eyes.

            “Yeah,” Drift chuckled, placing a hand gently over the one Rodimus had on his face.  “I wanted to win you back and I know how much you hated me taking them.  I took them to keep mellowed out…I didn’t want to become the monster I feared I still was deep inside.”  Then as Rodimus lowered his arm, Drift took both of Rodimus’ hands into his and held them.  “That’s what Megatron fears, too.  He’s the one Decepticon who was **_worse_** than I was.  I told you once, how I loved standing over the bodies of those I slaughtered—soaked in their blood.  It was an _addiction_ ………….and when I decided to abandon that one, I needed **_another_** addiction to take the place of that one.  It was easier to fall back to the circuit-speeders, since I’d used them before in my youth.”  Drift held Rodimus’ hands up to his chest.  “Then I met you and I realized there was something I wanted _more_ than feeding an addiction.  Though when I first met you just as a fellow Autobot soldier, I thought you were such a selfish brat……………but that day in the medical ward after the thing with Cybertron’s rebooting……………..that day I saw a **_brilliance_** shining in you.  You became my guiding light.”

            “You really **_are_** dumb,” Rodimus mumbled, embarrassed and feeling like he was getting swept away by Drift again.

            “Maybe so, but………….” Drift said, letting go of one of Rodimus’ hands and placing that hand of his on Rodimus’ chest, above where the younger Cybertronian’s Spark should be.  “You ignite Sparks……….guiding them with the brilliance of your own Spark.”  He stopped Rodimus from arguing it.  “No, you _really are_ , Rodimus.  Whether you believe me about what I saw and what I feel……………this quest is **_yours_**.  It is _only_ to be completed with **_you_** there, _no one_ else can complete this quest.  Getaway and the others……..Ultra Magnus said that they have the map.   But it’s **_not_** the map.  Whatever they have, it’s _incomplete_.  **_You_** are the only one with the real map.”

            “Okay.  Now I know you _really are dumb_ ,” Rodimus groaned, pulling away and turning away from Drift entirely.  He’d been getting swept up and started forgetting everything.  Like **_before_**.  Damn it, Drift said the _same thing_ that the Megatron from that little story inside his head had said to him.

            “You know I’m not really dumb,” Drift chuckled.  He reached around Rodimus and opened Rodimus’ chestplate.  To anyone observing it would look like Drift was embracing Rodimus from behind.   “Look at **_this_** ………….and tell me I’m wrong about your destiny,” he said, softly, drawing Rodimus’ attention down to the map etched inside his chestplate.

            Rodimus slammed his chestplate closed and tensed up.  _The hell…….?_   What the hell was that……….it **_couldn’t_** be?!

            “How………..?  **_What!?_** ”  Rodimus gasped, turning around and looking at Drift, so much shock on his face and in his posture.

            “You’ve really _forgotten_ it?”  Drift asked, puzzled.  “I could **_never_** forget it, lit by the warmth of your Spark.   I may not remember all the coordinates……………but I could _never_ forget its existence.  The moment I saw it, I **_knew_** this was your destiny.”

            “It’s not over……………. _it’s not over_ ,” Rodimus whispered, excitedly.  “Drift………..it’s **_not_** over!”  He gasped, grabbing Drift’s hands, for the first time feeling positive about something since they were abandoned on this world.  “I need to tell Magnus……….or Megatron………..!  If we can get a ship, we don’t need to track them—we can just follow the next set of coordinates and find the ship there!”

            Drift was excited by Rodimus’ excitement.  He opened his chestplate so that Rodimus could see his Spark.  A soft…so soft greenish-blue.  “By the light of my Spark and the eternity of life beyond death, I offer you to accept me as your Amica Endurae………..for now and forever, as long as our Sparks are lit,” Drift said, gently and smoothly, initiating one of the many sayings for the ritual of deep friendship.

            “I……I accept, for now and forever,” Rodimus murmured.  He had never seen Drift’s Spark before.  “Um….I………….” he trailed off, nervous and anxious and never having done a ritual like that before.

            “I’ve seen your Spark before and been bathed in its light.  That you’ve accepted me is good enough for the ritual for us both,” Drift chuckled.   “Ah…Ultra Magnus.  Done with the welcome speech?”  Drift said in greeting, as he closed his chestplate and looked past Rodimus.

            “For now,” Magnus responded.  “There are still some people down in stasis, Velocity and some others went back down to see if they could wake them up.  Rodimus, are you alright?”  He asked, looking down at his captain.

            “Megatron and I still have things to talk about, but I’ll be fine.  Magnus……..I have _the map_!”  Rodimus said excitedly, reaching up as high as he could to clasp Ultra Magnus’ arms.  With the expanded armour Brainstorm created for him, Ultra Magnus was now ultra-tall.

            “I know,” Magnus responded.  “But _don’t_ advertise it, all right?  Megatron and I were thinking that soon we’d need to remind you of it.  Clearly we don’t need to now.”

            “Wait………… _how_ did you two find out?  I didn’t even know about it!”  Rodimus pouted a bit.

            “When Blaze stabbed you,” Ultra Magnus said very simply.  “But for now let’s leave that be.  I explained things to people, but…………..I would really like you to talk to everyone.”

            “How come?”  Rodimus asked, curiously.

            “People are still a bit unsettled,” Magnus responded.  “Unless their alt mode can get them off the planet, most realize that they’re stuck here with us and, as you can imagine…most are really unhappy.   Autobot or Decepticon………….you have proven you can talk to anyone and get them to listen.”

            “Yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah………….and some of those Decepticons know me and don’t particularly like me,” Rodimus mock-sighed.

            “But you still have the speech-making talent to reach people, whomever they are,” Drift chuckled.  “Don’t worry, just tell them about what you’re doing and let them know that when you get the _Lost Light_ back………..you can take them off-planet if they want it.”

 

*     *     *     *     *

 

            Rodimus had just started coming to the end of a speech……at which he was surprised to see the interest in many of the familiar and unfamiliar faces.

            “In the end, I hope that when we are able to retrieve our ship from those who took it from us…….that many of you will join us on our adventure and quest.  I _cannot_ promise safety and I _cannot_ promise security, but I **_can_** promise that it’s probably an adventure you’ll always remember for the rest of your lives,” Rodimus said, tossing his arms out enthusiastically.   “To those who truly have no interest, we’ll do what we can for you—we’ll take you to any place of your choosing, as soon as we get our ship back.  Until then, I ask you to try and be patient and try to tolerate one another as much as you can.  Despite the discomfort and lack of fanfare, the war has been officially declared over and while that may not make things happy or right for some of you…it would be greatly appreciated if you didn’t pick fights with people who were probably once your enemy.”  Rodimus paused and looked out over everyone very seriously.  “We are all Cybertronians and I believe we should respect each other as Cybertronians.  Thank you all………and please rest well until we can do more about the current situation.”

            As he finished up, he hopped down off the inactive pedestal of some Cybertronian and began walking towards the Necrobot’s main building.  Rodimus was intercepted by Megatron, who lightly laid a hand on his arm.

            “Can we talk now?  Are you ready to talk?”  Megatron asked softly.

            “I’m still hurting, Megatron……I don’t know,” Rodimus said, earnestly.  Lightly placing a hand over Megatron’s on his arm.

            “I liked your speech……..you have so much passion when you speak about things you truly want to do.  I think that’s why you inspire people to follow you,” Megatron said with a warm smile.

            “Who knows,” Rodimus sighed.  He looked up at Megatron, his emotions still bubbling in an intense jumble of feelings.

            “ _Damn_ ,” Megatron murmured, looking at the longing in Rodimus’ face.  “And this is why I fell for you………..your true vulnerability makes you so cute,” he whispered, cupping Rodimus’ face and then bringing his head down to touch his lifepartner’s.  “You really can’t make those faces without it driving me crazy………….” He chuckled, softly.

            “I—I’m not making any kind of face…………” Rodimus protested, feeling a maelstrom inside of him as Megatron was so close.  “God, you’re such a **_pervert_** …………” he sighed with mild annoyance in his voice, relaxing and placing his hands on Megatron’s broad chest, bringing his head down to touch the area of the chest about where the Autobot symbol was.  “Look…………I get it.  You had a freak-out.  But……what if you _really_ left me alone?  I can’t do that again…………even with people around me, even if it’s _Drift_.   I **_can’t_** deal with that…………..not without my ego to protect me anymore.  It’s an unbearable thought.”  He tried to lift his head to look up into Megatron’s face and his helm scraped the older Cybertronian’s chin.   “I **_refuse_** to live beyond you leaving me behind.  I **_absolutely refuse_**.  I don’t care about anything else…..I can do this quest I undertook, because you’re there now.  I can still be a leader here, but only because you’re there now.  Being left alone will plunge my world into utter darkness……..and I’ll die if I’m left there.”

            “I get it,” Megatron sighed.  “I’ll do my best to be _better_ ,” he added, hugging Rodimus tightly.  “By the way, Brainstorm has been working hard while all this has been going on.  He is trying to make a transporter………but he thinks that it will only wind up being a one-way trip.   There’s not enough energy to power a full-scale transporter on this planet and now we have others to consider while we’re here.  I think we’ll need to go back to Cybertron and try to get a fast ship and catch up with the _Lost Light_ …….the _Lost Light_ will be the only way we can get people to safety and off this world.”

            “Yeah, there’s **_that_** but…………..” Rodimus began, pulling away from Megatron and motioning for his sparkmate to follow him.  “I may or may not be right about this, but……………..the pedestals and the rocks on this planet.  I was looking at them…….the minerals used in their construction.  See, the pedestals are stone, too…………just glazed to appear like metal.”

            “And……?”  Megatron began, tilting his head, puzzled.

            “I’ll need to check with a really good scientist on this, but…………..you understand how some organic plants produce their own light?  Well………….think about this—how was Censerre powering this entire world?  Not _just_ with those tiny solar panels in his roof…….that’s an insane thought!  Clearly he had no large hydro-powered generator—there’s not a drop of water on this world.   I think the minerals that are in the rocks and the pedestals are _solar collectors_ as well,” Rodimus explained.

            “Even the **_rocks_**?”  Megatron murmured, surprised by this information.

            “Yeah.  It’s hard to tell because of the battles, but……………..I remember some of the layout when we were here before.  The rocks were _landscaped_ …………….set in places intentionally,” Rodimus continued.  “I think there may be more generators somewhere here on this planet……………they’re not collecting solar energy for no purpose at all, I can’t see Censerre making something useless.”

            “Perhaps Nightbeat found out something along those lines…?”  Megatron said, bringing up the thought.

            “Maybe……I **_hope_** so.  I wish he and Rung would just get back here!”  Rodimus grumbled softly.

            “Rodimus………..do you suppose there may be mini-generators inside of the pedestals?  And wiring beneath the ground taking the energy collected to a backup source?”  Megatron asked, kneeling down to examine the closest pedestal more carefully.

            “That’s a possibility………do you know of anyone here who can do a scan?   I don’t want to dig up anything and mess up the wiring, if that’s actually true………” Rodimus trailed off.

            Just then, the ground rumbled and made a shuffling sound nearby and two Cybertronian heads popped up out of the dirt.  Nightbeat gasped and Rung muttered to himself.

            “That was incredibly _convenient_ ,” Megatron chuckled.  He knelt to grab both of them and pulled them both out of the ground.  “Should I take this to mean you found something?”  He asked as Nightbeat brushed himself off and Rung pulled sparkflowers out of his joints.

            “Primus did I find something……….I’ll have to tell you later,” Nightbeat chuckled.  “Where’s the DJD?  We missed the whole fight?”  He asked.  “Thought so……….it was a spacio-chronal dislocation after all……..”

            “Deathsaurus retreated and the Decepticon Justice Division are all dead,” Rodimus responded.  “We also have a few hundred people that Censerre poached from the past………….thanks to you admonishing him the last time we were here,” the younger Cybertronian added.

            “That so?”  Nightbeat quieried with a huge grin.  “Rodimus…………the hollow planet is a damned **_mold_**!  Not just _any_ mold………………but **_Cybertron’s_** mold!”  Nightbeat suddenly said, unable to hold his excitement back any longer, even though he said he’d tell them later.  “There’s also massive generators in the interior—it was generating a huge gravitational system.  **_That_** I really don’t get why….unless it’s something to do with holding everything down on the planet, since there’s no core and all that science stuff I may not specifically understand.”

            “ ** _Bingo_** ,” Rodimus chuckled.  “Look at these, Nightbeat……..” Rodimus added, grabbing the detective’s arm and pulling him over to where a pedestal and rock were.  “The minerals in the pedestals and rocks are solar collectors…………..the energy they’re collecting must be going to your generators in the hollow core.”

            “Are you all right, Rung?  You seem angry,” Megatron asked the old Cybertronian.

            “Not angry, per se……but incredibly _frustrated_ ,” Rung sighed.  “I apologize that we missed the fight.  I should assume we’ve won, then?”  He inquired.  Megatron nodded.  “Is everyone all right?”  He asked.

            At that, Megatron shook his head.  “We have hundreds of new faces, but we lost two of our own……..” he murmured.  “Ravage and Skids,” he said quietly.

            Rung’s face suddenly changed into deep sadness.  “I did not know Ravage well, so I am sorry.  But _Skids_ ……….?  Do you know where they’re keeping his body, so I can say farewell?”  He asked.

            “I’ll take you,” Megatron said, softly.  “Rodimus, I’m going to take Rung inside………you two try not to have too much fun with your theories.  Brainstorm wants to see us about the teleporter!”  He called, to remind his lifepartner.  Rodimus just waved absently and went back to examining things with Nightbeat.

            “Something happened,” Rung responded, looking between the two sparkmates.

            “Things are very uneasy between us, because of the battle,” Megatron responded.  “It’s going to take a little time to heal that rift.”

            “Ah,” the psychiatrist said, nodding gently.

            “We can repair it, it will just take more time…which is something at a premium right now,” Megatron said, a bit more forcefully this time.  “There’s a lot to fill you in on……..”

 

 

 

**Next story:  “ _Convergence_ ”**


End file.
